Save Me From Myself

by: Brian “Head” Welsh

Brian “Head” Welsh is the former lead guitarist from a contreversial rock band called: Korn. Sometime in 2005 he shocked the world announcing he was leaving the band to be saved and become a Christian. In this book, his memoirs, he explains the affect his addiction to speed, alcohol, and violence affected his life and eventually, after a chaotic trip, lead him to Jesus Christ.

To be honest, I had really hard time getting through the first portion of the book. I suppose I was looking for the grit, the raw detail, the honest acclaim for all the things that he did while in the band with Korn. I think because I honestly wanted to know more about Korn and their debauchery as a band. However, there is little about the band itself, practically no stories about touring, and even very little about the creation of the music. I think I understand now why. The story was about the band. The story was about the choices, and portions of his life he never shared with anyone, the band included. The private side he kept to himself. The side that ultimately lead him to be free.

There were other problems I initially had with the book. First, he wrote it himself and while never a main song writer for Korn, and never writing anything before, it showed. But after awhile I got used to the way he delivered his story and some of the amateurish way he organzied his thoughts (which unfortuantely sometimes didn’t make a ton of sense)and just appreciate the fact that he was trying to share.

The third problem I had was not his own doing, it was my own cynicism. First of all, I felt the book was probably put out to convert more people to Christianity (not that I have a problem with that, but just not for me), so I kept waiting for that, you should all stop doing this or that and come to church. That never happened and I’m very sorry I initially placed that judgement. The second thing was I didn’t believe that he had kicked drugs for good. It’s only been a few years since he’s been clean and found god, and the likelihood of a relapse????? Well, let’s say, in my mind that’s not unprobable. He was is an addict, but believes he’s been freed by Christ, and so he won’t go back to drugs again. I think he is still an addict, he’s just transfered his addictive and COMPULSIVE personality to fixate on his spirituality. So yes, on that I’m still skeptical, but here I’m getting ahead of myself.

I wanted to mention all of the initial negative energy I had towards the book and Brian himself first because by the time I finished it, he’d changed my mind about a lot of things and I understood why he was so vague and past tense on the years of partying, because that was not what his book was about. It was about him finding joy in God, but he felt he needed to share his story and what led him to that point to really understand how he got there. The time he was with Korn, he was a different person, when he was on drugs that was. Before that the idealism of being a kid, and growing up he wrote in great detail about, before the drugs. And then he wrote in great deal after the drugs. The only thing he was very specific about on the drugs was how he treated his then wife, and his daughter Jennea. I understand now why. He was not the same person who he is now when he was in Korn, and it was probably excruciatingly painful to go back to that person, when he’s in the process of leaving him behind and moving on. And that’s what I belive the other half of the book was about, moving on.

The second half of the book explained how he discovered God and the journey he took to be where he is now, and I have to say, it was really beautiful. All in all I would say it would have been much more inspiring or maybe appreciated better by someone who is on their way to finding Christ or those who already have. Some of the spiritual experience he had were amazing and I’m very happy for him and for his daughter.

The book on a whole was just, “okay”, but it’s IDEAS and it’s meaning behind all of the distractions is what really got me and I’m very glad I read it. I hope Brian stays on his path, I hope he doesn’t relapse, and I hope he continues to find the peace and freedom in his religion that he does now, because it’s beautiful.